Probably every single problem you have experienced in your own family, some other family somewhere else has experienced in a similar form, and found a good solution to. The only way you will experience entirely unique problems is if you are pioneer in some field where ideas are yet to be developed, in which case, presumably you can do your best to address them or you wouldn't have chosen to be there!

All parenting institutions probably contain some good knowledge. The thing to do is to take what seems worth exploring to you, and leave behind ideas that aren't rationally convincing. If you read this whole website and decide it's a lot of rubbish, at least you know that Rational Parenting exists and that other people do consider themselves to be living these ideas to some good purpose.

One way of tackling problems better than by habitually using force and causing conflict is to make a note of the issues that most often cause contention in your family. Include in this the things that everyone else is happy with, but which you would ideally like to change. Then brainstorm, completely without prejudice, on the grounds that you don't have to commit to any idea with scary or uncontrollable implications unless or until you have thought it through in advance and decided on a risk-assessed experiment at the very least. Just think of any possible kind of solution that has ever worked for anyone anywhere. Doing this with other family members makes it all the more successful. Then, re-examine any ideas you come up with that just might work, under any circumstances, and pick out exactly what your objections are and how they might be tackled piece-by-piece if you all decided to go for it. What's the worst thing that could happen? How would you deal with it? What are the likely difficult outcomes? And so on.

The people who started institutions like the ones Rational Parenting grew from often began like that. They questioned the rightness of the orthodoxy, and decided to experiment with something new, assessing it bit by bit as they went along. Very often, most of the thought needs to be done well in advance. But sometimes problems have grown so painful and difficult that emergency action becomes the only viable course.

We don't expect you to agree with all of the ideas in every group linked to here and on the Rational Parenting blog. We don't agree with all of their ideas ourselves! More conventional family institutions also contain valuable stuff, but you don't need our help in finding those, and they would be too many and various to include here in any case.

If Rational Parenting is about one thing only, that thing is finding better ways than the old norms of control and compromise. The way to start doing that is to go and search for them: it's a never-ending process and its not supposed to be easy, it's just what life and relationships and being human are all about.. Not to mention being satisfying, wonderful and fun!

Whatever really, genuinely, rationally, honestly, morally, thoroughly makes sense, for everyone concerned, is rational parenting. We can't tell you what that is for every occasion in advance: you have to look for it yourself, and there will always be another challenge round the corner. But what we can tell you is, in our opinion, there is no more wonderful, satisfying or enjoyable journey to be taken in this world. Bon voyage!